The Rev. Dana Prom Smith, S.T.D.,
Ph.D. (6/6/2013)
Q. Oh! Yoo-hoo there, Answer Man, Louella
Kardashian here. Remember me! I’m back again! It’s watermelon radishes this time. My hubby, Longfellow, feels he’s nearing his final
fashion show. Up here you’d call it the
last roundup. Anyhoo, he’s been feeling
guilty about the way he spent his life, especially making oodles of money in
the low fashion industry. As he says,
“Givin’ ‘em want they want.” Having
spent his life with low fashion types, you know, the butt crack crowd, he wants
to meet his Maker with a touch of class.
The nabobs call it hochkultur, that’s
German for high culture in case you didn’t know. A cultural upgrade. I just can’t image God being low class, you
know, Bach and Shakespeare and Gorgonzola Encrusted Filet. So I looked around for something high-toned to
soak up a little culture.
A. I’m not sure of your point. I’m neither a fashionista nor an
eschatologist although I’m with you about the butt crack crowd.
Q. Patience, Answer Man, I haven’t gotten to my
point. After nosing around, I discovered
the Flagstaff Symphony Guild. I thought
that if anyone could upgrade us culturally it would be people who liked that
kind of music. I wangled an invitation
as guests to one of their meetings. You’d
never guess where they have their meetings?
No brown bag church basement. Lunch
at the Cottage Place
A. You’re right, I’m not a patient man, and I am
on the side of the elk and deer. Will
you get to the point?
Q. Oh!
Don’t be so jumpy. Anyhoo, we had
a spinach salad with watermelon radishes and a
A. Well, I’m happy that you’re finding a place
for yourself up here in Flagstaff
First,
they’re easy to grow. Now’s the time to
plant the seeds when it starts to warm up.
They’re really an heirloom Chinese daikon although they look like a
parsnip, a princess incognito, but when opened up, they’re a gorgeous fuchsia. Unlike a lot of beauties, they’re low
maintenance. Fast growing, they need sun. Before planting in compost enriched soil, dig
in a 5-10-10 fertilizer. Plant the seeds
about ½ an inch deep, and then thin the plants to 3 inches apart. A couple of weeks after they sprout, use a
20-10-0 fertilizer. Unlike tomatoes,
where the fruit is eaten, with radishes the plant is eaten so it needs lots of
nitrogen. They’re best eaten when about
2½ to 3 inches in diameter. They should
mature in about 53 days and can be sown throughout the summer.
They’re
crunchy and sweet with a hint of spice, a very sophisticated vegetable. Nutritious, they stimulate digestion and are thus
especially useful after a dinner with too much fat and alcohol. They also help with cholesterol levels and
blood pressure. They’re just right for
those who live too well and the fast food low fashion types. Eaten fresh, cooked, roasted, pickled, they
shine as crudités. They go well with apples, cheese, vinaigrette, bacon, and cucumbers.
They’re
good for you, taste great, and are high-toned.
Along with Bach, Shakespeare, and Gorgonzola Encrusted Filet, you can
add a spinach salad with watermelon radishes for that hochkultur encounter you’re planning for the end of the runway.
Q.
You don’t have to be such a smart ass, Answer Man.
Copyright
© Dana Prom Smith 2013
Dana Prom Smith and Freddi Steele edit
GARDENING ETCETERA for the Arizona
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