As Told to the Rev. Dana Prom
Smith, S.T.D., Ph.D. (9/24/2014)
By
way of introduction, my name is cut leaf viper’s grass or, if you’re given to
formalities, Scorzonera laciniata. My formal name probably comes from the
Italian, scorzone, meaning “venomous
snake,” and laciniata, meaning “fringed.” However, I’m definitely no “fringed venomous
snake.” I’m easily mistaken for a
dandelion. I picked up the venomous
snake nonsense because my roots were once used in Italy
Many
think that I’m a recent visitor to the high country, but I’ve been here all along,
unnoticed, because I look a lot like some other Scorzonerae, such as black salsify (Scorzonera hispanica.) Black
salsify is grown in Europe as a vegetable, its
black roots are said to taste like oysters as if that were desirable. Ugh!
At
any rate, Jan Busco introduced me to Dana Smith when he toured the
Jan
told him I was a weed, but she hesitated to pluck me because I was useful, giving
pollen to the bees and seeds to small birds, both of which are necessary for
the garden. I was surprised when Jan
called me a weed. Dana asked Jan why she
thought I was a weed. She said,
“Exotic,” which means that I’m not native to the high country. It’s not a botanical term for “pole dancer.”
I
must say that although Jan didn’t pluck me for which I am grateful, I resent
the term “weed” and especially the word “exotic” because when I hear the word
“weed,” I think of destructive plants, such as, cheat grass (Bromus tectorum.) Now, there’s a really bad customer,
masquerading as oats, that’s what Fromus
means, using up all the moisture, drying up fast and creating fire hazards, and
shoving out the natives, kind of like a foreign aggressor, maybe a communist. Just say “No” to cheat grass” and pluck it
when you see it, especially in the spring when it first pops its ugly heads. It’s given a bad name to weeds. It’s almost taken over the state of Nevada
Also,
I resent the word “exotic” because it implies “bumps and grinds.” Certainly, those botanical types could’ve
found a better word. One wonders where
their minds were, probably not where they should’ve been.
One
of my favorite hangouts is what the “in crowd” calls disturbed soil, hardly a
place where exotics ply their seductive wiles.
My favorite is the gravel on the side of railroad beds and beside
highways because there I can shine.
While not quite as pretty as a dandelion, I’m still very attractive with
my yellow hair, and then when I go to seed, I turn into a puff ball and scatter
my beauty through the land carried by the winds.
My
point’s simple. I don’t cause much of a
problem, not like the havoc caused by the Dalmatian toadflax, a snapdragon wannabe,
trying to fake it as a flower, meanwhile shoving all the natives out like some
kind of jihadist. Now, the snapdragon stands
upright and produces lots of flowers while the Dalmatian toadflax sprawls like
an ungainly, spaced-out, unkempt adolescent.
If you see them, pluck them out straight away.
I’m
told that a weed is an unwanted wild plant.
Cheat grass and Dalmatian toadflax are weeds, but they sure ain’t exotic. Even though you might not want me in your
yard, I’d like to be left alone beside the railroad tracks and highways. I’m fed up with being unwanted.
Copyright
© Dana Prom Smith (2014)
Dana Prom Smith and Freddi Steele edit Gardening Etcetera for the Arizona
